Day Eighteen: Postscript.

1) I think what bothered me the most about the class I took is that it was more an introduction to the Web Design and Development certificate offered by Emory Lifelong Learning than it was an introduction to Web Design and Development. So I left thinking, "wow, there really is quite a bit I don't know."

2) 7 apparently was too early to go to bed. With much grumbles and protestations, I roused myself at 7:30 and spent the next 4 hours basically transporting junk from my Closet (I have one closet in my entire apartment) and bedroom bookshelves into my living room while watching Firefly. My allergies were definitely irritated, but my Closet looks awfully nice now, and I realized that my camping equipment is still in really good shape, despite being in the recesses of my Closet for the past 4+ years. Also, I love Firefly. So, good decision. I also gathered all my giveaway stuff into one area and pushed my sellaway furniture into another area, so I have more room in my living room, for sitting on the couch and walking through. Good job, me!

3) One thing I didn't mention in my previous post was that I broke my balance ball. Despite the fact that it was 70+ degrees in Atlanta yesterday and gorgeous (I didn't really notice, since I was indoors all day, but whatever), I had my heater on and my ball rolled into it (my house was built in the 20s, so "level" is kind-of irrelevant) and melted. One less thing to worry about I guess. Although I miss it.

4) There was a very loud and obnoxious college-kids party across the street from my house. It was in the house next to the house where they are filming a movie right now, which I believes stars Queen Latifah and Dolly Parton. I know, weird. Apparently now that the filming is on weekend break, the kids are reveling in the freedom of being about to park on our street for a few days so they invited their friends over to do the same. I'm so glad I'm getting old.

5) I am going on a biplane ride. I am excited. I was sad because I didn't know who to go with but I immediately got volunteers and now am super-stoked! My dad called because he wanted to come down and go with me, too. I love my dad.

I'm on my way to visit Yael right now. I'm very excited because I get to walk to lunch and enjoy the still beautiful weather.

And the thing is, yesterday had 2 really awesome Harper-related developments, too. I'll post them below.

My brother and his sweet baby girl.

My sweet baby niece in one of the other onesies I embroidered for her and LEG WARMERS. If you've ever seen anything cuter, I don't want to hear about it, because it's a big fat lie.

Thanks for putting up with my moaning and complaining. I'm planning on accomplishing even more today. Which is saying a lot, because at the end of the day yesterday, I really had made progress, despite also having cried a lot and having gained back the 3 pounds I lost.

Day Seventeen: Day is Done, Gone the Sun...

I'm really excited about my web design class tomorrow. I'm hoping to learn a bunch of stuff, or at least to learn some of the basics that I have skipped. The curse of being curious, stubborn, and intelligent is that one is sometimes able to figure things out without actually learning "the basics." I'm hoping that this class will at least fill in the basics-gaps.

In other web news, I was experimenting with Fotomoto for selling my photos on my website, and Collin was sweet enough to buy a photo from me (!), but I decided to try SmugMug also. I was able to customize my site's name (charitycrabtree.smugmug.com) and the look of the site, too! I'm very happy with it, but I haven't decided whether or not to invest in an account there. It's fun just to see it and think of the possibilities.

In other non-web news, my brother sent a photo to me today of my beautiful niece Harper wearing one of the onesies I embroidered for her! He called the photo Hula Girl. I love it.

LOVEly. I mean, how is it possible for so much beauty and miraculousness to occupy such a small part of the world?!

So now I'm really really tired and my apartment is still a mess, although I did sell two books on Amazon and, you know, set up a photography website (charitycrabtree.smugmug.com, did I tell you?), and I actually lost a couple of pounds last night, somehow. :-) Anyway, I am not down about it. I just know now that I need to make a to-do list for Sunday and stick to it.

I'll be going out with Yael for lunch on Sunday (YAY!) but I think that will be a good way to divide up the day between chilling out (AM) and working (PM). I need to write emails to the people I know in SF and that area, and try to set up some informational interviews. Plus, that will give me an excuse to buy another ticket to SF (where I'll get some good Collin-snuggle-time, I'm pretty sure)!

Speaking of Collin, apparently he gets free beer and pizza and bacon cheeseburgers at work, which is another reason for me to get out there ASAP. If I don't, there is apparently a very good chance that he will have a heart attack or gain 300 pounds. Or BOTH.

Ok, well, it's time for me to tuck into bed with my sweet Sambo, who patiently awaits...

Days Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen, and Fifteen: What was that again?!

Ok, so let me see if I can do a recap of all the recent insanity. I can't promise it will be short, and I can't promise it will be sweet, but I can promise that it will be true. Sometimes that's the best you can hope for, I think.

Days Nine and Ten (2/10-11):


Collin at Blue Danube my first afternoon in San Francisco.
OK, in my last entry, I described Day Ten instead of Day Nine. Oops. So you already know about Day Ten. Let me explain though, that Day Nine was basically a non-event. I know this mostly because I don't remember anything that happened that day. Let me check my Twitter feed to be sure.

Apparently I watched Intervention and did little else. That seems about right.

Anyway, here are some photos from Day Ten:


Just so you know.


I wait for the bus.

Day Eleven (2/12):

This was the day Collin and I set out with high hopes to see the city. Let's see, we started out by getting breakfast at Blue Danube again, which was great. Then we went to ride the cable car but the line was obscene. So I met an interesting man, who was collecting money in his huge bucket, to whom Collin said "I don't care how big your bucket is, man, I'm not giving you any money," after taking his photo with me. Our budding friendship was unfortunately doomed to fail, clearly.


Me and the man with the big bucket. I could say something about my big cans but I'll resist. Except I just said it.

We walked up to Union Square and sat for a minute.


Collin took some photos in Union Square...


... and I took some photos of Collin taking some photos in Union Square.

We considered taking a tourist bus (I like doing that because it gets all the touristy stuff OUT OF THE WAY so you can just enjoy being in the city) but decided we didn't have time, since we were meeting Collin's brother for dinner later, so we just went shoe-shopping. My lovely new work shoes are apparently not the best shoes for walking around the hills of San Fran. However, my super cool new shoes ARE the best. They are incredibly light -- they are basically like tires for my feet, which makes sense, since they are made by Jeep. I know, weird.


Collin waits for the bus.


Collin and I ride on the bus. I have new shoes!


Collin's birthday beverage from Starbucks: a venti mocha something frappuccino something or other.

Dinner with Collin's brother was superb, other than the fact that it made me terribly sick the next day. I truly believe that at some point I will take my milk allergy seriously, but at this point in my life, I just want Fettuccine Alfredo too hard. But I love Collin's brother, Dane (I actually love all three of Collin's brothers, but Dane *is* the only one I've seen in a plastic crab bib, so I can't say that he doesn't have a huge advantage, because he clearly does).

Day Twelve (2/13):

The day started wonderfully with a nice walk and a visit to the park.


Nice effort. And nice shoes.


Collin didn't get his knees all the way up but his bench was steeper so it's ok.

Slowly but surely Collin and I made it out of the neighborhood and over to the airport. We didn't really have time to eat on the way there, like we'd hoped, so we ate at the airport. Yech. Plus sad.


Airport meal: my last in San Francisco unfortunately. At least the beer was good! And the company.

What was really sad was the pathetic quesadilla with "chips" I had in the LA airport. Luckily I also had two $12 margaritas and met some fun people from Atlanta who were on their way to HAWAII, so my layover actually turned out to be pretty sweet.


Generous helping of FOUR tortilla chips.


My new shoes/tires. Waiting for my connection in LA.

My flight to Atlanta didn't get in until after midnight. In order to preserve the sanctity of Day Twelve, I'm going to end by saying that my flight landed safely, and there was not one screaming child on the plane. Awesome.


I love San Francisco.

Day Thirteen (2/14):

I'm not going to lie. This was the worse start to Valentine's Day EVER. That's really saying something, since I am finally in a healthy relationship on a Valentine's Day and have suffered through more than my fair share of pitiful or pathetic or psychotic (or more frequently all three at once) V Days. But this was way worse than crying myself to sleep the night before and just waking up with puffy eyes...

Picture this: You're super tired. It's super late, and you've just paid way too much for less than 72 hours of parking. It's Valentine's Day, and you've just returned to a lame-duck hometown from an amazing weekend with the love of your life in a breathtakingly beautiful city and are slightly freaking out about having to figure out a way to get out there as soon as possible, and STAY out there. You walk into the parking garage assuming you will be able to find your way to the economy lot ("economy" = REALLY bad sign in this case) only to find yourself in a dark parking garage surrounded by empty cars with no idea where you are going. You know the direction of your car, so you head that way, only to find yourself standing on a service road on the other side of a chainlink fence, looking into the massive parking lot containing your car and realizing that the rows start in the teens and you will have to walk to row FORTY-FIVE. So obviously you burst into tears. Then a security truck pulls up and a woman looks at you like you're crazy when you flag her down and tells you she will call you someone to meet you here and help you instead of just helping you herself. Miracle of miracles: you look up and see the path you missed 15 minutes ago and sobbing, wave away the useless security truck. You finally get back on the path and begin the hike to your car. You get to your row and see your car right where you left it. Only you realize when you get there that this is not your car. In fact, it's a different make, model, and COLOR and has none of the distinguishing characteristics of your car. You look down the row as you keep walking and although you're approaching the end of the row, you don't see it. You start sobbing again and then finally see your car. You get to your car, still having seen NOT ONE PERSON other than the security guard, get in, realize how thirsty you are, and down the remnants of a Lime Lacroix that has been in your car more than 72 hours and start trying to stifle your sobbing. You finally get to the exit and after inserting ticket, wait while TWO other cars approach, insert tickets, and drive off, and then FINALLY the gate goes up and you begin the 30 minute journey home. You arrive at home in time to get to bed just before 1:30 am and wake up in 6 hours to go to work. Terrific.

The good news is that Collin's stepmom called me at work and took me out to lunch. She had driven in from Athens, so she got a little lost, but we had a great conversation! Of course, my lunch hour turned out to be lunch hours, so I had to stay late for work. I went home and collapsed. What a day. Crikey.


Mad and me after lunch.

Day Fourteen (2/15):

On the other hand, this was the BEST start to the day after Valentine's Day EVER. My niece was born! She is amazingly beautiful and I am totally in love. This day was basically spent sighing, giggling, and crying. What a miracle. It really puts things in perspective for me. Life is beautiful.


Harper Eliah Crabtree

Day Fifteen (2/16):

Ok, back to business day! I met with a friend of mine who gave me some GREAT advice about setting up informational interviews in San Francisco with some folks I know (and others). She also told me about her web design business, which is crazy fortuitous. She has built her business up in the way I wanted to, following advice that I have read and received and it has worked! She doesn't rely on it for her sole source of income (yet) but in the meantime is building up her skill set and having fun doing it! It was inspiring and very motivating. Yay!

I was supposed to go out with another friend for dinner but that didn't work out so instead, I went to visit one of Collin's other brothers (he lives like 3 blocks from my friend, which I realized when I dropped her off) and we had a very nice evening. We ate dinner together (PIZZA!) and talked, and played with Devon, Collin's amazing nephew. What a charmer. I love him. He asked about "Uncka Collin" which was very precious, and then spent about 15 minutes flipping through the photos on my phone. He has been working on double-tapping to open photos and zoom, etc., so he kept stabbing my phone with his tiny fingers saying "Tap-TAP!!" Adorable.


The Van Dyck-Scott family (Michelle, Chris, and Devon)!

So then I went home and talked to Collin and now he's terrified that I'm baby crazy. But seriously! How can I NOT BE?!?!


Yeah, you like my OUTFIT!

Day Six: Leaving Atlanta, Post Script

Very Happy.

Very Sad.

Collin: Alright, I think I've done everything that I can. I mean, I could've done more, but...

Day Six: Leaving Atlanta.

Collin and I watched Leaving Las Vegas this weekend. Yikes. I'm glad I knew how it ended already, or it would have been torturous.

Also, Collin likes my grandmother's glasses.

How cute is he?!

Last night I got about 3 hours of sleep. It makes me feel much better about not helping Collin as much when I think of the many nights in the past week that I've gotten 3-5 hours of sleep and he's slept until noon or beyond.

He's starting to get nervous about moving out there, but neither one of us has really dealt with the fact that he's moving thousands of miles away. From me specifically, I mean. We both know that we are postponing the inevitable, but I'm still imagining staying out West when I go visit him next weekend. I'll get a job next week and be there by the end of the month.

The truth is that tomorrow night Collin will be sleeping in a different bed, and San Francisco will be his home. It's really difficult to accept that. On the other hand, talking about my own move has actually been making it more real for me, and the fact that he is going makes me talk about it frequently, so I can more easily see myself sleeping in my own different bed in the not so distant future.

Days Four and Five: Kind of a Blur.

Day Four was Saturday and Collin and I spent it together. I spent much of it working on my web page (charitycrabtree.com) and this actually continued into Day Five, which was today. We also went to Brick Store both Saturday and tonight. I have been talking on the phone with my parents quite a bit, and we spent this evening with his parents; his brother was out with us last night as well as some friends from his previous place of employment.

It's like a whirlwind. He and I are staying up most of the nights talking; I'm tired all day but it's worth it to spend time with him knowing he'll be gone in less than 36 hours.

Instead of trying to go on our last night Friday, by the way, we decided to do it when I get to San Francisco. It's made it easier to put off the thought that we will be so far apart in so little time!

Well, so Friday night we stayed at home and cooked a delicious meal together. It's one thing I will miss when he's gone.

Potato cakes, sesame green beans, and arugula salad with cranberries.

Collin and I enjoying each other as much as the dinner.

Collin loves bubble wrap. Seriously. And the oatmeal.

Contemplating the packing of the lenses in a very adorable way.

Overall it has been a good weekend. Emotional, but good. I am determined to get out there as soon as possible. I am looking forward to having my own new life! For some time I've felt like I haven't been taking advantage of my life. In some ways a it is great opportunity to have the freedom to pick up and start all over somewhere else.

And Collin says he'll take a yoga class with me in San Francisco!

Day Three: Fog Rolling In.

The title of this blog is not a metaphor of self-doubt or second thoughts, just so you know up front. Actually it was just really really foggy today in Atlanta, I think the high was 37 and the low was 34, and it was drizzling or raining all day. In San Francisco the high was 62 and the low was 44. Cloudy, and I'm sure it was at times and in places foggy, but anyway, the South is really not trying too hard to tempt me to stay at this point. ... Weatherwise at least.

Collin is packing up all his stuff tonight (I think it's only going to end up being about 5 big boxes worth). He just sold his PS3 and elliptical machine on craigslist within 15 minutes of putting the ads up, for cash. In the photo above, he's happy because he just sold the elliptical (and his roommate just made $100 for driving it over to the guy's house). He's making some big strides.

I looked at a few jobs, and thought a couple of them sounded good. When I went to apply, I remembered that someone had told me to get a local phone number and use a local address. So, sitting in front of the computer, I looked up and said that to Collin. Then I got a local number from Google Voice and he told me I could use his address.

Sometimes the fact that I'm getting ready to move comes up so suddenly and so dramatically, and I get so overwhelmed. There's so much to do. I've given myself until Collin leaves, though, to get used to the idea. Right now I'm enjoying spending time with him before he leaves (on Tuesday!) and postponing, without regret, the anxiety and the fears and terrors of the nuts and bolts of the move.

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Also, here is amazing video of footage from 1906 before the San Francisco earthquake and fire, and from after said earthquake and fires. Yikes.



In looking it up originally to show to Collin, we came across this delightful footage of probably my death in a few years.



Go, John Cusack, go!