Day Twenty-Six: Sorting.

Sorting.

I had brunch with a friend from graduate school this morning. It was sad because we are both in a [throws up hands in the air and sighs dramatically] moment of our lives, trying to do the best we can, but it was really nice to know that I'm not the only one here.

I have picked out my 5 jobs for today and I'm excited to apply for them. Also, Mad (Collin's stepmom) is coming into town so I have a dinner date! Nice. :-)

I still have that sorting to do though. For a concept so simple, sorting is incredibly intense and important.

Also, there is loud noise outside and it is coming from a big orange truck parked in my parking place. Grr. But what a lovely day. :-)

Day Twenty-Five: Heck Yeah, Buddy!

1) Well, I applied for two jobs at Berkeley that both look AWESOME. Like, I could do them, and I would love to do them. Those are jobs I would look forward to every day. :-) It's not 5 jobs, but it's something, and I'm happy about it.

2) The kitchen is still unclean.

3) So is the bathroom.

4) Collin and I finally had our "come-to-jesus" talk about our relationship. I feel much better about it actually. It's been really hard getting advice from people that doesn't jive with how our relationship works. We have a special bond, and it's difficult to understand. He's dating someone else, and now I know who it is, and I feel better about it, actually. I don't know why. But I do. I have too much to worry about anyway. Oh, and I bought a ticket to go visit again. This will be interesting. I had to schedule it around his new love interest's availability. Yes. Interesting.

5) I took another entire car load to the Salvation Army (SCORE) and put all my stuff up for sale. So far I've sold three bookshelves and my DVD player. It's a start.

6) I might not get to yoga today. Or maybe I'll do some yoga before bed.

Day Twenty-Five: Alive.

Well, I'm just going to be upfront about it. I heard from Collin and we decided to try to be friends but in our Skype call last night he told me he's already started seeing other people. I feel like I've been gut-shot.

But this isn't about Collin, this is about me. I must maintain focus on my own journey.

So today I have an agenda.

1) I will apply for at least 5 jobs.

2) I will clean my kitchen.

3) I will clean my bathroom.

4) I will go to birthday tea with Collin's mother and sister-in-law (yes, it will be awkward), and I will try not to be a basketcase.

5) At this point I have so much stuff quarantined to be taken to the Salvation Army that I'm thinking of calling a truck. However, if I can get to the store and buy some garbage bags I might be able to take a load over there this afternoon.

Whoa! I better get started.

6) I better add yoga to the list.

I haven't heard back from the acupuncturist, which I think is odd. Must remember to call him Monday or call someone else. I'm needing some needling.

Day Twenty-Three: TGIT.

I decided to take the night off from job applications after staying until 7:30 at work. I attended a very nice event sponsored by the Emory Center for Women, and was able to reconnect with several people I hadn't seen in some time. I'm beat though, and ready for bed.

I'm starting to feel overwhelmed. It's times like these when I wish I had a wife to encourage me and do my laundry. Speaking of gender, I'm watching Victor/Victoria right now. Very interesting. But not really enjoyable. I'll probably quit watching it soon. I mean seriously, Julie Andrews as a man? Not at all. Maybe I've just been to too many drag shows to be fooled by this nonsense.

I do have (what I think is) a really important question, though:

To what extent must someone stop seeing the family of an ex when his family is awesome? I only dated Collin for a few months, but long enough to develop relationships with his family. And why should we be forced to break up, too? You know? Especially when they are all here and he is thousands of miles away? I'm really dealing with this now. Help.

Day Twenty: Are You There God? It's Me, Charity.

The good news is that I got my medicine finally.

The bad news is that it cost $81.

The meh news is that I was able to use my HSA funds, so at least my checking account remains unmolested one more day.

The great news is that I have a really good chance of not crying myself to sleep for at least another month. :-)

The different and fabulous news is that I am feeling much more optimistic today. Yesterday I applied for 9 jobs, I ate relatively well (the pizza I ate half of was actually a small pizza, so it's not all that bad), I only drank one beer, and I got a lot of sorting-of-junk done. I also had lunch with a dear friend and I spoke on the phone for 45 minutes with another dear friend. If I can make that much progress, even every other day, I think I'm well on my way to my very own SF life. Regardless of how many more Eeyore/Coldplay days I have.

Day Eighteen: Postscript.

1) I think what bothered me the most about the class I took is that it was more an introduction to the Web Design and Development certificate offered by Emory Lifelong Learning than it was an introduction to Web Design and Development. So I left thinking, "wow, there really is quite a bit I don't know."

2) 7 apparently was too early to go to bed. With much grumbles and protestations, I roused myself at 7:30 and spent the next 4 hours basically transporting junk from my Closet (I have one closet in my entire apartment) and bedroom bookshelves into my living room while watching Firefly. My allergies were definitely irritated, but my Closet looks awfully nice now, and I realized that my camping equipment is still in really good shape, despite being in the recesses of my Closet for the past 4+ years. Also, I love Firefly. So, good decision. I also gathered all my giveaway stuff into one area and pushed my sellaway furniture into another area, so I have more room in my living room, for sitting on the couch and walking through. Good job, me!

3) One thing I didn't mention in my previous post was that I broke my balance ball. Despite the fact that it was 70+ degrees in Atlanta yesterday and gorgeous (I didn't really notice, since I was indoors all day, but whatever), I had my heater on and my ball rolled into it (my house was built in the 20s, so "level" is kind-of irrelevant) and melted. One less thing to worry about I guess. Although I miss it.

4) There was a very loud and obnoxious college-kids party across the street from my house. It was in the house next to the house where they are filming a movie right now, which I believes stars Queen Latifah and Dolly Parton. I know, weird. Apparently now that the filming is on weekend break, the kids are reveling in the freedom of being about to park on our street for a few days so they invited their friends over to do the same. I'm so glad I'm getting old.

5) I am going on a biplane ride. I am excited. I was sad because I didn't know who to go with but I immediately got volunteers and now am super-stoked! My dad called because he wanted to come down and go with me, too. I love my dad.

I'm on my way to visit Yael right now. I'm very excited because I get to walk to lunch and enjoy the still beautiful weather.

And the thing is, yesterday had 2 really awesome Harper-related developments, too. I'll post them below.

My brother and his sweet baby girl.

My sweet baby niece in one of the other onesies I embroidered for her and LEG WARMERS. If you've ever seen anything cuter, I don't want to hear about it, because it's a big fat lie.

Thanks for putting up with my moaning and complaining. I'm planning on accomplishing even more today. Which is saying a lot, because at the end of the day yesterday, I really had made progress, despite also having cried a lot and having gained back the 3 pounds I lost.

Day Eight: We Gotta Get Outta This Place!

This video expresses my feelings about Atlanta very well now. Even more so because the video set looks hauntingly familiar to my own apartment lately...



Ok, so I've not been the most productive lately. First I was spending all my time with Collin (which I don't regret, since he was leaving and I felt justified in procrastinating a little), and now I'm in this crazy wind tunnel, because I'm leaving early tomorrow morning (I have to leave my apartment BEFORE SIX AM) to go visit my darling dear. Then I'll be back about midnight on Sunday, so while I am looking forward to this weekend very much, I know that it will be another reason I'm not making progress towards the move, unfortunately.

So here are the things I need to do today (i.e. Day Nine): finish my resume, pack for San Francisco (just the weekend), register for a class in web design, and put my resume in dropbox so I can edit it from the West Coast. Oh, and clean my apartment from dusty top to dingy bottom. Argh.

I have to say that this move is super exciting to me because it's forcing me to do all the things I've been putting off for so long. I told Collin last night that I was so afraid I would fail; I haven't really done anything yet in my adult life because I'm so afraid, and his response was "Oh, you'll fail," which at first I found very UNhelpful, but it's like the story of how Thomas Edison invented so many lightbulbs that didn't work before finally getting to one that did. I have never been good at heading straight into failure. This has been really challenging, which I love, since it is a reflection of how much I will grow as a process.

I'll talk more about the Web Design stuff tonight. When I also post an update of how much of this I actually do today...

Collin took this photo last night. :-)

By the way, I went to dinner last night with an old friend of mine and in talking to her about it, realized I haven't talked to any of my improv friends since I quit two months ago. This I find extremely sad. It's difficult when friends you thought you had turn out to not give a poo about you. Just in case you were wondering if it feels awesome... It doesn't.

Oh, and I decided to quit drinking. Since I decided that (actually it was before I even began this blog), I've not cut down at all. I've also decided to get back eventually to where I'm doing yoga 5+ days a week. Since I decided that I've not done yoga once.

So yeah, there are two more updates I will provide. If any progress is ever made!

Just kidding. I'll post updates anyway.

First Post Blues.

I am ready to change my life for the better.

Overall my life is promising right now, and I am determined to reach my full potential.

I hate my job, and I am not supported in it, nor am I given adequate professional development opportunities. My job is easy and I feel like I'm getting an ulcer from the stress and I think my brain is dying for want of a good challenge.

I am thirty pounds overweight. Over my goal weight.

My closest friends live multiple states away and I rarely get to see them.

My finances are in a mess. I make so little at my job that my student loans are in forbearance. And I still managed to overdraft my checking account last month.

I recently quit improv, which I love, because at this particular time, the place where I was doing improv was slowly but surely killing my soul. This is actually a very positive thing, since I've been wanting to quit for quite a while. However, it's bad because my fears about quitting were realized: I've lost all my local friends, for all practical purposes.

And my apartment is a mess. It is filled mostly with 12 years worth of academic and 33 years of emotional excess. And now, stink bugs too.

So you see? I have so many things to improve! I am actually really excited for the first time in a long time about what lies ahead. What I'm most excited about is seeing what lies ahead on my current path and realizing I can change paths.

So that's is what I'm going to do. And my new path leads to San Francisco.